If you’re woman dating after divorce, you want help with no longer attracting men who don’t want to do the work

You want a man who will show up for you and work on the relationship

This problem is directly tied to what I call “High Tolerance for Relationship Neglect”

It means when you’re with a man or other people who are low effort in the relationship, it doesn't bother you until it reaches excessive levels.

You don’t notice that he was saying things, but his actions didn’t match

You initiate all the relationship work - conversation, scheduling fun and adventure.

There is no mutual reciprocity. Your partners contribute less than is fair in attention, time investment and effort, they give excuses

You overgive and then feel betrayed when you finally realize you’ve been left with nothing

You are content with not experiencing high levels of care and love. You underestimate what you need from a partner. You don’t know what to look for.

It’s possible that your emotional needs were not met as a child or in your first marriage and now you have become accustomed to being emotionally neglected.

The behaviors go on for months before you realize that you need to go through another painful breakup.

Identify and Highly Value Your Own Wants and Needs to Stop Neglect Tolerance

To end this cycle:

Learn what your needs are - emotional, psychological, physical, sexual, intellectual, lifestyle. Are you living below your potential? Are you living your best life? What areas are missing?

Make those needs your #1 priority.

Your parents can’t do this anymore. You have to do it.

Do you have emotional safety and calm? Do you have joy and a sense of fun and adventure?

Get clear on what a man who desires mutual reciprocity looks like

How exactly will you know he is willing to put in the effort?

Observe your dates to see if they match

Walk away instead of spending 6 months tolerating neglect.

Mastering these steps is how you stop attracting low effort men.

You will be able to spot them 10 miles away

No more time wasted. This leaves lots of room for your high effort partner to find you.

Doing this will transform you into a person who attracts support, care and love from others

This process of getting clear on what a healthy relationship looks like is one we apply in precise detail in my Dating Course for Divorced Women.

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